Sept 13 - Day 5

 Slept poorly in spite of Ativan but managed to feel pretty decent when I got up. We didn't make it to Yoga today. Too rushed for my taste. Got the breakfast provided. I'm sticking to usual fare for me today. Yogurt and coffee. 

This morning, we are doing our visit to two Austrian farms. We boarded the bus and headed out. The weather continues to be absolutely horrible with temperatures in the 40's and never ending rain. The first farm was a pumpkin farm. It was really a beautiful place. They talked to us explaining they had strawberries and 450 varieties of pumpkins. We got to taste the strawberry wine and the pumpkin oil. Absolutely delicious. We were blown away when they told us they use drinking water for irrigation and that the standards for regular farming are much higher than those of organic farming in the United States. Erika and Laurie both bought products to take home. Of course, Erika had to try all the different types of alcohol they make. 

The next farm was about smoked pork and fresh bread. By now, I am so cold that I can barely pay attention. But I tried. The meat was good and I just really wanted it to end. And it finally did. Back on the bus and back to the ship. We had lunch, more of the same ship fare. My body is starting to talk to me about the lack of movement and the lousy food. 

The guided hike was canceled and we decided to head into Durnstein on our own. What a charming town. We bought some rain ponchos and headed to the castle ruins on our own. It was such a fun, in spite of the horrible weather. The views were spectacular and all you could do is imagine the beauty in better conditions. We did pretty well with our ponchos although we were quite wet. Came back to the ship and changed into dry clothes and warmed up. Fit in a game of Scrabble before dinner.

There was a mandatory port talk before dinner and we were told that due to the storms and the likelihood of the Locks between Bratislava and Budapest closing that the stops in Vienna and Bratislava were canceled. The plan is to leave Durnstein four hours early and go straight to Budapest, arriving in the early afternoon. The disappointment of missing Vienna was too much for Erika. She has been such a trooper, especially with all my disappointment and my struggles with trying to have any kind of mental equanimity. But she is  strong girl and after a few tears, she pulled herself together and decided to make the best of a miserable situation. 

We ate dinner in the Panorama Lounge tonight instead of the dining room. The food wasn't very good but at least it was quiet. After dinner, because the originally scheduled entertainment could not make it because of yes, you guessed it, weather, we had a karaoke night. Erika was of course the star. Everyone loves this girl. Her ability to make friends and be at home in any environment blows this mother's mind. I'm so much the opposite, especially now, where I can't find my feet or my place in the world. 

After listening to a bit of the music, I headed to bed. I tried to take 1/4 mg of Ativan tonight but after an hour or so, I took another 0.5 mg. I still didn't sleep well. I had a lot of post nasal drip and kept coughing. The movement and noise of the ship was really bothering me too. Not a good night for me. Everything is catching up to me, the weather, the grief, the disappointment, lousy food, not enough moving, all of it. 

The high point was talking to Matt for about a half an hour on the phone. It was so good to hear his voice. So good.